Saturday, September 8, 2007



Feel free to use this post as an open thread if you wanna.

Okay, one more update...I bolded some of my favorite entries so you don't have to read all 5,000ish words if you don't wanna...but you's 5,000 words of sheer genius, if you ask me...


That's right, we're back. I decided I wanted a degree of difficulty this time, so we're live blogging the Kelly/Kadlec broadcast. What could possibly be wrong with that?

4:56 - It's a Big 12 crew today. Boo. I know the visiting team's conference does the game, but with the Big 12 involved, I don't mind changing that. Hell, give me a high school crew. I'll take my chances. Is it bad that I'm already bitching about the refs and the game hasn't even started yet?

4:57 - Ole Miss wins the toss and chooses to receive. Holy crap. That's the first time since 2005 that we'll get the ball to start the second half.

4:58 - And no, I won't be playing the Mike Kelly Drinking Game.

5:00 - Kickoff. Marshay Green slips at the 23. The Beef called from The Grove earlier and said that there was a deluge early this morning, and it could affect the field conditions.

5:01 - Ben Jarvis Green-Ellis breaks off a nice run to start the game, 14 yards. He's already doing better against us than he did last year. Marshay Green follows with a 9-yard catch. Mizzou's obviously not used to starting on defense...or something like that.

5:02 - BJGE gains another 10. Not the most promising start here.

5:03 - Tom Ackermann is subbing for Chris Gervino, which is disappointing because I was already plotting how to blog Gervino's excited voice-crack...I love that...

5:04 - Justin Garrett is the nickel back today instead of Del Howard, I guess. Maybe because Garrett's bigger? Who knows.

5:05 - 3rd-and-15 for Ole Miss from midfield. Seth Adams scrambles for about 7, and the Ole Miss drive comes to a halt. That'll work. Adams can scramble any time he wants as far as I'm concerned. Jeremy Maclin with the fair catch at the 9.

5:06 - Temple is stuffed for a loss of 2. Kadlec says there was lots of penetration by the D-line. I see the O-line is picking up right where they left off...

5:09 - 3rd-and-short for Mizzou, and a Daniel keeper does the job.

5:10 - Jimmy Jackson with three yards on his first carry of the season. He's averaging more per carry than Temple! Apparently this massive gain opens up the field for a nice gain by Jeremy Maclin on a quick hitter, and Mizzou is at midfield.

5:11 - Kelly: "Caught by Perry for a...he dropped it." EVERYBODY DRINK!

5:13 - Tony Temple with a 4-yard gain! Progress!

5:14 - 3rd-and-6 from the UM 38...incomplete pass. Tom Ackermann with a nice observation, saying the Ole Miss defenders have been well-drilled on jumping up to block passes at the line of scrimmage against our 'sawed off' QB. Unfortunately, his voice doesn't crack, though. And meanwhile, Adam Crossett predictably punts the ball into the endzone. I trust him in clutch situations, but he's never had much touch...

5:16 - Mike Kelly says you can almost smell the rain coming. In theory, that would help the more physical team (Ole Miss), but I don't recall Mizzou having much trouble in the rain at Homecoming last year, so we'll see.

5:17 - Marshay Green with another first down catch. They don't have any homerun threats, but if they get enough of these short gains, it'll obviously open up the big play. Mizzou's CB's are apparently giving a lot of cushion, which is surprising since they're not amazingly fast.

5:18 - 3rd-and-3 for Ole Miss...incomplete! Lorenzo Williams in coverage...nice. Rebels to punt.

5:22 - Jeremy Maclin with a first down on a reverse...the handoff coming from QB Martin Rucker. Another 'successful' play for QB Rucker.

5:23 - Jared Perry with a first down and is "popped off his feet." EVERYBODY DRINK!

5:23 - Temple again has to make a move as he's taking the handoff. He had to "belly back." EVERYBODY DRINK!

5:24 - Perry with another drop, and it's 3rd-and-long. Daniel avoids the blitz and completes to "Perry...Franklin" short of the first down. Crossett on again. Another touchback. Sigh.

5:29 - Three incompletions, the third dropped by BJGE, and Ole Miss will punt again. Quite a gripping first quarter. Seth Adams is now 3-for-9 for 26 yards, while BJGE is stuck at 4 carries.

5:31 - Ole Miss' MLB is a 280-pound true freshman. Holy moly.

5:32 - 3rd-and-5 from the Ole Miss 36. Pitch to Rucker? Interesting. Rucker breaks a tackle, injures a defender, and gets the first down. The Mizzou bench is excited about the effort. Can Rucker start at TE, QB, and RB?

5:34 - Mike Kelly is soooooo selling me on Sonic's Crispy Chipotle Chicken something or other. He really got into reading that cue card. Meanwhile, my TV's on mute, but Beyonce's selling me on whatever perfume she's singing about at the moment. Lordy. I agree with the lyric on Talib Kweli's new album..."More Beyonce, less Britney..."

5:37 - Another reverse to Maclin, another nice gain. He now has 2 rushes for 19 yards and 3 catches for 20.

5:39 - False start on Ryan Madison on first-and-goal from the 9. I smell a field goal coming on. Kadlec tells me Madison's gonna be a fine football player, though, so I'll forgive him.

5:40 - Temple with a decent gain on 2nd-and-long, "bouncing outside." Does that one count as an "EVERYBODY DRINK"? That's a relatively common saying, I guess.

5:41 - One exciting quarter in the books, and Mizzou will start Quarter #2 with a third-and-goal from the 10.

5:43 - Interesting...ATM has blown a lead against Fresno and is now tied at 22-22 with 6:43 left. Unfortunately I gave the remote to my wife, so I can't flip over to that one.

5:44 - Alright, here we go...third-and-goal...touchdown Will Franklin on a post route! Nice. Daniel's now 12-for-17, and Mizzou's up 7-0.

5:46 - Speaking of passer stats, two games into his college career, OU's Sam Bradford is now 40-for-48 for 568 yards, 5 TD's, and 0 INT's. EESH. Just for fun, a 14-game projection of those numbers gives you 280-for-336, 3976 yards, 35 TD's.

5:49 - Another 3rd-and-long for Ole Miss after a nice play by Jaysen Corbett. The D-line is holding its own quite well after a couple nice gains on the Rebels' opening drive. Just as I say that, Adams scrambles to near the first down marker, but he apparently slid too early. Rebel fans are pissed about the spot, but...well, it sounded like a good spot to me!

5:51 - Apparently the Beanery is still trying to get the satellite coordinates right on the game. Glad I didn't head down there on a whim...luckily I remembered that I'm a Mizzou hermit, and I really don't like watching Mizzou games with people I don't know really well.

5:55 - Mike Kelly interrupts Kadlec and Ackermann's lovely conversation about the state of the Ole Miss program to give a little play-by-play. Kadlec says the O-line is much more enthusiastic today. I guess that's a good thing.

5:56 - Tony Temple avoids a huge loss to get back to the line of scrimmage. Where have I heard that before? It's 3rd-and-7.

5:57 - Third down pass complete to Coffman near midfield. Good god, do we have some weapons. Meanwhile, ATM just went up 29-22 on Fresno.

5:58 - Jimmy Jackson with a 5-yard gain, and we've got another 3rd down. Jackson and Goldsmith have been on the field so far, but still no Marcus Woods. And I think it's safe to say that Derrick Washington is redshirting. That's fine, I guess.

5:59 - Third down pass complete to Rucker. Ole Miss even cheated (offsides)

5:59 - Forty-yard bomb to Franklin for the TD! Guess he was tired of Maclin getting all the attention. 14-0 Mizzou, baby. Meanwhile, Fresno has the ball at the ATM 3 with 24 seconds remaining. If they score, do they go for two? I say they do.

6:03 - It's fourth-and-goal for Fresno now with 0:09 left. Guess we might not find out if I was right on my 2-point wager.

6:04 - Touchdown Fresno! Oh yeah, and BJGE just broke off a decent run for an Ole Miss first down. "William Moore with a bit of an 'ole' attempt at a tackle." Don't like hearing that.

6:05 - Ole Miss is moving the ball again...BJGE with another nice run inside Mizzou's 25. Apparently Mizzou's pulling a trademark 'Take your foot off the gas pedal' move here. Kelly and Kadlec aren't being nice to them at the moment. Oh yeah, and Fresno kicked the PAT. We're going to OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVERTIME. This is why I never actually make wagers.

6:06 - BJGE for 10 more yards. Come on, guys.

6:07 - BJGE breaks a Van Alexander tackle...and then fumbles! Darnell Terrell recovers. Nice bailout there. Mizzou has to be leading the nation at turnovers forced inside their own 10. That's a 'backhanded compliment' sort of achievement, really, but I'll take it.

6:10 - Temple breaks off a HUGE gain to the 40. Pretty sure he just doubled 2007 output. Oh, and Gamecast says that it was Marcus Woods who recovered the fumble. Just sayin'.

6:11 - It's a Greg Bracey cameo!

6:12 - Chase Daniel breaks off another nice run. Oops...just used "breaks off" again. It's my "hemmed in and popped down". Guess that means...EVERYBODY DRINK!

6:13 - "Caught...dropped by Franklin." EVERYBODY DRINK! Meanwhile, ATM has to settle for a FG on its OT possession.

6:14 - Martin Rucker breaks a tackle on a slant pattern and goes 40 yards for the TD. Wow. 21-0. Kadlec: "I would say, Mike...Ole Miss has got some problems in the secondary." Yes. Yes they do. Mizzou just went 94 yards in 1:54, and Chase Daniel is now 18-for-25 for 187 yards and 3 TD's. Oh, and he has 3 rushes for 32 yards. Love that guy.

6:15 - WOAH...Fresno almost scored...their WR tried to reach across the goalline and then dropped the ball. They didn't call it a TD or a fumble...said he was down at the 1. I'm not sure what happened, but he didn't actually step out of bounds at the was either a TD or fumble. Play under review. This will be the ballgame either way.

6:16 - A ballgame decided by a replay. I'm SO glad this isn't a Mizzou game I'm talking about. I'm thinking he fumbled before the ball crossed the plain. Therefore I'm sure this will be called a TD.

6:17 - Back to the Mizzou game, Marshay Green with a long catch, though Kelly said there was a flag down.

6:17 - Nope...just "something flying around", not a flag. That's the penalty version of "caught...dropped." DRINK!

6:18 - Back in College Station, the call stands. Fresno ball at the 1. Of course. They couldn't decide if it was a fumble or a TD, so they made the one call that was definitely wrong either way. By the way, unless I'm missing something, it was almost certainly a fumble.

6:19 - 3rd-and-1 for Ole Miss from the Mizzou 9. Would love to hold them to a FG here.

6:20 - Pig Brown tackles BJGE for a 1-yard loss. Love that guy too. Timeout Ole Miss...they'll almost certainly go for it here.

6:21 - Hmmm...I may be spreading my love around a bit too much here. Wouldn't want Sonny Riccio (to whom I professed my undying love--just ask him--after the '03 NU game) to get jealous.

6:22 - Timeout MU now. Holy crap, they just reviewed the ATM play AGAIN and reversed the call. ATM wins...oh...nevermind...there was a roughing the passer penalty. First down Fresno. DOUBLE holy crap. What a mess.

6:23 - BJGE avoids Stryker Sulak in the backfield and gets the first down. Bummer. Meanwhile, Kelly and Kadlec have now called him "Green," "Green-Ellis," "Ellis-Green," and "Ellis." They've covered every combination. I'd just call him Ben.

6:25 - TD Ole Miss. 21-7...still 1:09 remaining.

6:26 - Maclin returns the kickoff to near midfield. If I were professing my love for anybody else, it might be him. But I'll resist...especially after he just dropped a pass.

6:27 - Will Franklin inside the Ole Miss 40. Then Coffman inside the 25. That puts Daniel over 200 yards for the half.

6:28 - Daniel just threw into double coverage toward Saunders for some reason, but it was luckily incomplete. Meanwhile, Fresno just kicked the FG. After all that mess, we're headed to DOUBLE OOOOOOOOOOOOVERTIME.

6:29 - Maclin "popped down" at the 7 with 9 seconds left. DRINK!

6:30 - Kadlec just had a bit of a coughing fit. Maybe he is playing the Mike Kelly Drinking Game. Actually, that would explain a lot...

6:31 - I smell a fade to Coffman coming.

6:32 - Fade to Coffman. TD. I swear I called that in real time...not just some blogger trick. Penalty flags down, but it's probably against Ole Miss. Yup. 28-7. Daniel heads to halftime 23-for-33 for 241 and 4 TD's. Good gracious.

6:45 - Alright, dinner time for The Boy. Meanwhile, Fresno and ATM are going to a THIRD...OOOOOOOOOOOOVERTIME.


6:58 - Holy moly...the second half kickoff was about 90 seconds ago, and already Tony Temple has busted (not "broken off") a nice run, John Kadlec has called Colin Brown "Colon Brown" (I laughed WAY too hard at that), and Greg Bracey caught a bomb for a TD. Wow. 35-7, 72 seconds into the second half. Let's ALWAYS take the ball to start the second half. Chase Daniel: 24-for-34, 278 yards, 5 TD's.

7:00 - Alright, Fresno is lining up for the 2-point conversion in OT #3. Incomplete. ATM wins 47-45. Always fun when you choke, then win anyway.

7:02 - TD, Ole Miss. Hardy Ricks beaten on a 68-yard bomb. So...a) this is going to be a long quarter, and b) Hardy Ricks should be a safety, not a corner.

7:03 - Bad snap (or really bad 2-point attempt) on the PAT. 35-13.

7:06 - That was the longest pass against Mizzou in the Pinkel era. Interesting.

7:11 - Temple seems to be running a lot meaner now. Can't be a bad thing. Must be the blocks he's getting from Colon Brown.

7:11 - Sorry. Couldn't resist.

7:13 - Wolfert on for a 27-yard FG...good. 38-13. I'd point out that Mizzou was leading 37-13 last week before, you know...but I won't.

7:15 - Ackermann just referenced 37-13. Damn him. And here I was about to compliment him on a nice contribution today...screw that.

7:16 - Oh god...Northern Iowa 17, Iowa State 6, late in the 2nd quarter. Other scores: K-State 10, San Jose St 0 (2nd); KU 22, SE Louisiana 0 (2nd); Oklahoma State 14, Florida Schnellenburger Atlantic 6 (2nd); UTEP 14, Tech 7 (1st); Texas 0, TCU 0 (2nd); Baylor 21, Rice 7 (2nd).

7:17 - Ole Miss has moved the ball out toward midfield again, and I'm hearing no happy crowd noise after good plays now. I'm thinking everybody has left to go back out to The Grove.

7:19 - Another nice pass gets Ole Miss down to the Mizzou 25. Come on, guys.

7:21 - 3rd down for Ole Miss at the Mizzou 5...BJGE stopped short. So they're going on 4th-and-2. Fade pass...incomplete, but Darnell Terrell will be called for face-guarding. I hate that call. I see nothing wrong with face guarding if there's no contact. And I'm not just saying it because we got called for it...honest.

7:23 - First-and-goal Rebs...Green-GreenEllis-EllisGreen-Ellis stopped for a loss.

7:24 - Second-and-goal. Incomplete pass, deflected by Sean Weatherspoon's stomach.

7:25 - Third-and-goal. Shotgun, empty backfield...fade route...touchdown over Carl Gettis. Two point conversion pass is incomplete. 38-19, 4:24 left in the third.

7:26 - I'm sorry, but I find something extremely wrong with ordering pizza online. I mean...a) it's no easier than actually making a phone call, and b) how do you know somebody's actually taking the order? What if the person in charge of e-mail orders is taking a dump talking on the phone to his girlfriend or something?

7:27 - Squib kick by Ole Miss, caught by walk-on Jeff Gettys. Had no idea he was on the kick team.

7:28 - Daniel with another nice gain on first down. With time left in the 3rd, Missouri has over 400 yards of offense, Ole Miss over 300. Ggh.

7:29 - Third-and-3 for Mizzou from near midfield. Complete pass to Coffman. That's All World TE Chmartin Ruffman's 9th reception of the game.

7:30 - Temple with a 10-yard gain on first down. He now (somehow) has 111 yards rushing on the game. Not sure when that happened.

7:31 - Third-and-10 for Mizzou in Rebel territory. Handoff to Temple? Gain of 6. idea what the hell that was. It's not like Daniel's been struggling throwing the ball or anything...

7:32 - Wolfert misses a 42-yarder. Ole Miss ball with 1:47 left in the third. PLEASE...let's not make this a damn game. Time for the defense to step up.

7:33 - Long pass complete to the Mizzou 45. Good we go...

7:34 - Wow, I've made an entry a minute for the last 13 minutes. Go me. Meanwhile, Green-Ellis has 25 carries, 146 yards. All because I said I wasn't impressed with him in yesterday's preview.

7:35 - And just like that, BJGE has about 180 yards. Ole Miss inside the Mizzou 10. Again. We can't do anything the easy way.

7:36 - End of the third quarter. Ole Miss will have a 3rd-and-goal from the Mizzou 2. That quarter only lasted 45 minutes.

7:39 - Here we go...third down...touchdown BJGE, stiff-arming Brock Christopher at the 2. 185 yards rushing for him. Can't wait to play against Jorvorskie Lane. Meanwhile, TCU just picked off a Colt McCoy pass and returned it for a TD. 7-0 TCU late in the first half.

7:40 - Another two-point conversion, another incomplete pass. 38-25. Did I mention that we can't do anything the easy way? I'll mention that the defense did step up in the 2nd quarter when we were asserting ourselves, but for some reason we're the ones wearing down in the second half.

7:44 - For fun, I just did a word count on this bad boy...3,026 words so far. Almost a word for every yard gained in this damn game. When this is over, I'll probably just bold my favorite entries...make something of an abridged, shorter version. Quantity over quality, baby. Meanwhile, my wife is aghast at the selection in the latest Talbot's catalog. That'll save some money, I guess.

7:45 - Timeout Mizzou. And meanwhile...the first commercial of this commercial break started with Mike Kelly calling a big INT for Mizzou. In other words, I just heard "We'll be back after this...and it's INTERCEPTED BY MISSOURI...10, 5, TOUCHDOWN!!" Yeah, THAT confused the crap out of me.

7:47 - Rucker at QB again...on 2nd-and-10...and he breaks off (sorry) a 9-yard gain. He retains his 100% success rate as QB. On 3rd-and-1, however, he doesn't line up at QB. Daniel tries a keeper and doesn't get it. ????? We use our short yardage formation on 2nd-and-10 but not 3rd-and-1??? Some things I just don't get.

7:49 - Kelly: "Will they fake the punt?" Kadlec: "Well, they've got it...they've got a fake punt." Most teams do. Meanwhile, Crossett does indeed kick...and it's downed inside the 10!!! Ole Miss gets the ball back with a chance to cut this to a one-possesion game. Goodie.

7:51 - Kelly: "Missouri and Ole Miss have combined for 978 yards tonight." Kadlec: "Well it'll be over 1000 by the end of the night." With over 10 minutes left, I bet you're right, Coach.

7:52 - 3rd-and-6 for Ole Miss from their 13. Huge play here. Complete pass to Marshay Green. First down, though Ole Miss is called for a late hit. So they didn't actually end up making progress up the field, but they got a 1st-and-10. Ten minutes to go.

7:54 - Alright, 3rd-and-8 for Ole Miss from the 14. Do something, guys.

7:55 - Well, they did something. They gave up a 16-yard pass. Seth Adams is approaching 250 yards passing, BJGE approaching 200 yards rushing. First down Ole Miss, and Pig Brown is shaken up. Wind knocked out of him. And the entire defense, for that matter.

7:58 - Stop me if you've heard this one before: third down for Ole Miss. Handoff to BJGE...huge gain to the Mizzou 39. He crushes the 200-yard barrier on that one. First time for a RB against Mizzou since Darren Sproles in 2003. I remember that game.

7:59 - Is it too early to start watching the clock? 7:40 remaining.

8:01 - Okay...third down for Ole Miss. Again. 3rd-and-6 from the Mizzou 21. Bubble screen sniffed out by Hardy Ricks! NOBODY runs a bubble screen against the bubble screen masters! I assume Ole Miss will go for it here.

8:02 - Yup. 4th-and-10...huge. Adams throws incomplete! Intended for Shay Hodge, who was lit up by Pig Brown. Mizzou ball.

8:03 - I just realized I've been eating gummy worms for about the last 30 minutes...that, plus the tension of the game has resulted in a heart rate of about 462.

8:03 - Time to see if Mizzou can actually eat some clock with the running game. Tony Temple "bellies back" for a decent gain. DRINK!

8:04 - Rucker lines up as fullback in the pistol formation, Temple with a short gain, which leads to 3rd-and-a-long-1, according to Mike Kelly. GIVE IT TO RUCKER NOW.

8:05 - Rucker does indeed line up at QB...and gets stuffed at the 34. Shows how much I know. Mizzou to punt with 4:25 to go. Grr. To summarize: no. Mizzou can't eat some clock with the running game. Meanwhile, I'm down to just the powder in the gummy worms sack, and I'm giving it a long, hard look.

8:08 - Crossett with a clutch punt into the wind. Only 37 yards, but they had to call fair catch.

8:09 - Kadlec: "Okay, how about some defense?" I agree, coach. So do Lorenzo Williams and Ziggy Hood, who team up for Mizzou's first sack of the night in almost 30 pass attempts. 12-yard loss.

8:10 - Mike Kelly just did a spot for the upcoming Elton John concert at Mizzou Arena. For some reason, I was really hoping Kadlec would have a comment for that one.

8:11 - 3rd-and-20 for Ole Miss. A good stop here is ballgame. Pass dropped by Mike Wallace. Well, of course he dropped it...Mike Wallace is like 90 years old.

8:12 - Ooh...Ed Orgeron pulls a Larry Smith and punts. Crowd boos. Actually, that's probably a good was 4th-and-20, and you just stopped Mizzou running the ball on the last drive. Maclin is called for a 'delay of game' penalty because he called for fair catch and then ran with the ball. Not the smartest play in the world.

8:13 - Chase Daniel is the player of the game. You think?

8:13 - Alright, get some damn running yards and end this thing, guys. Temple gets 0 yards on first down. Not quite what I meant. Meanwhile, TCU is up 10-0 at half over Texas, and UNI is up 24-6 on Iowa State. Jesus.

8:14 - Daniel loses 2 on third down and will have to punt again. Ugh. 1:38 left, and Kelly just went ahead and proclaimed Mizzou the winners. He's apparently never watched a Mizzou game before. Good lord, Mike.

8:16 - Despite Mike Kelly's jinx, Crossett manages to get the punt off. Just knew that was going to be blocked and returned for a TD.

8:17 - First down Ole Miss inside the Mizzou 40, 1:21 to go. Damn you, Mike Kelly.

8:18 - First down at the Mizzou 21. Kelly: "Mizzou's going to go to 2-0, folks." GOOD FREAKING LORD, MIKE. HAVE YOU HEARD OF ON-SIDE KICKS?? I realize we're probably going to win, but...good freaking lord.

8:19 - Justin Garrett intercepts the pass at the 4. NOW you can say they're going to win.

8:20 - Daniel takes the knee, and that's ballgame. 38-25. Mizzou moves to 17-7-1 all-time against the SEC. Mizzou's 2-0, just like they were supposed to be, put it mildly, they still haven't figured out how to land the knockout punch. Whatever. What did we all say last week? A win's a win? Sounds good to me.